Sounds awful to write but it’s true, you miss certain things once you’ve had a little one, things you completely take for granted when you don’t have children and you only realise after. I DO NOT regret having my little boy, not in any shape or form, he is an absolute blessing. Don’t get me wrong I’d love to miss out the teething and sleep deprivation times but it’s all part and parcel of parenting and if it means I get to enjoy every minute with my little one then I’ll take it all! But I do miss some of the old things.
A lie in, what on earth is a lie in anymore? I’ll be lucky if Oscar sleeps in past 8am and sleeps for a solid 12 hours. Before having Oscar I could sleep up till 11am on my rest days and feel as fresh as a daisy, those days are long gone. But I must say I do have the best alarm clock, he wakes up at around 7am with the biggest smile on his face babbling away in his cot, (well most mornings anyway, if he’s starving then we don’t tend to get a happy response). I just wish I could snooze those 3am calls.
Waking up on a weekend with your partner and staying in bed till 11am doing as you please have gone out the window, our weekends we let each other have a lie in. One morning I’ll let Lee sleep in and the other morning he lets me sleep in, we very rarely sleep in together unless my mum has Oscar overnight. One thing that I do have now and I am ridiculously grateful for is that on weekdays because Lee gets up at 7.30am for work, if me and Oscar are still in bed he will bring us up a cup of tea and a bottle of formula so we can chill in bed for a bit longer.
“What are you doing today?”, “Nothing”. “Whats up?”, “Nothing”. Those days of doing and feeling nothing are long gone, even when you spend the day in the house you’re not technically doing ‘nothing’ because you are nurturing and contributing towards the development of your little one! You may feel as though you’ve done nothing but you are doing such an important, caring, beautiful job of raising your babies.
By this I mean leaving the house with just you, your bag and coat, not having to thin k about anything or anyone else. Now you have to take the equivalent of a small bungalow out with you. You can’t leave the house without planning every last detail of whats in your bags. Also freedom in the sense of you can’t just drop everything and go out with your friends, you have to plan most of the time.
But on the other hand I love spontaneous days out with Oscar, those days when you think I’ll probably stay in today but end up going out somewhere. I love it when I meet up with friends or family and as I don’t drive we catch the bus and Oscar absolutely loves being on the bus, he just loves seeing new people and always ends up with those lovey little old ladies cooing at him and waving. I’m sure he absolutely loves the attention.
Oscar’s currently at the stage where I will feed him his dinner before me and Lee have ours, but as soon as we sit down for our dinner he will instantly get upset. As soon as he sees us with our trays he just doesn’t hold back, even after having his own dinner & pudding and various snacks. We sat down for dinner the other day in the dining room for the first time ever, we all sat round the table and had our dinner together, I made myself and Lee chinese chicken curry and Oscar has rice, beans, chicken and a few chips. It was lovely, we all sat down in peace eating our dinner, for the first time we didn’t have to take it in turns eating dinner. Sometimes I find myself s sneaking off into the kitchen to eat a bag of crisps or a few biscuits in secrecy so I don’t feel guilty eating in front of Oscar.
I practically live on caffeine, my whole day runs on endless cups of tea. The majority of the time I have to drink my tea cold, I miss a piping hot cup of tea, it always tastes way better hot. I love going round to families houses because I know that I will always finish a hot drink. I’ve definitely got my use out of the microwave warming up these cups of tea and coffee.
When getting ready I practically have to bribe Oscar with lots of toys & cartoons, just so I know I have time to do my make-up, hair and get dressed. I get ready in our bedroom and have a walker up there specifically for getting ready. I use the iPad to put PJ Masks or Despicable Me 2 on Netflix and put him in his walker with plenty of toys attached to so it gives me plenty of time to get ready and he can stay entertained. Some days he’s started kicking off for a bottle so mission get ready is aborted and I end up sitting on the sofa with a bottle and Oscar with half an eyebrow and one cheek of make up done.
I used to take so much pride in my appearance, now I’ll be lucky if I have a full face of make up and brushed my hair.
NON Animated Tv
When we spend the days in or I do a bit of cleaning, washing up, putting the washing in etc I usually put cartoons on for Oscar to keep him entertained. Currently all that passes our screen is Puppy Dog Pals, PJ Masks or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Where as before our tv would consist of all of my recordings from the night before I could binge on. There’s so many things I have to catch up on but just haven’t got round to it. Most of the time when Oscar has been put down for the night me and Lee sit on the sofa together eating snacks not in secret binging on the newest Netflix series.
I haven’t bought myself new clothes for about a year, I made that mistake when I bought myself a brand new pair of suede boots and jeans for my birthday back in Feb when Oscar was about 2 weeks old. I changed his nappy at my mums house and as I was in mid transition of old nappy to new nappy Oscar shot out a large amount of yellow, watery poop that landed all over my lovely new black suede boots and black jeans. It was one of those birthday presents you wished you’d never received. To make things worse we went to see my grandad in hospital that afternoon and I was walking around the hospital with yellow poop stains over my boots and jeans.
I try to wear nice clothes everyday but I now know that they will be covered in my tiny little humans bodily fluids or his unwanted food. He’s got a habit of wiping his mouth on my shoulder when I hold him so wearing light coloured tops at the minute is completely out of the question.
Oh those days where you could go out and just buy what you wanted without even feeling guilty! Those days are long gone on a £600 maternity pay budget when you still have a mortgage and bills to pay. I also remember my mum telling me when I was a baby she would get milk tokens for my Farleys baby milk, when Oscar was born we were paying between £11 – £14 on Aptamil formula. HOW EXPENSIVE IS FORMULA! We then moved onto Cow & Gate because he was going through a tub of formula every 3 – 4 days and it was costing us between £25 – £30 a week on baby formula. Along with everything else nappies, wipes, clothes, medicine, food, bottles, sterilising equipment, £20 child benefit a week is not enough to cover the bare essentials. So that lovely dress or that beautiful new coat will have to go on hold for a while, thats one thing I’m looking forward to when going back to work is having my own money and contributing my half toward the family. We can also do a lot more with Oscar on the weekend when I’m back and work and earning my wage again.
Those days of your friends texting you saying ‘wanna hang out?’ or ‘fancy the pub?’ are long gone. Since having Oscar I think I speak to about 3 friends on a regular basis and some friendships have fizzled out. I miss having days out with friends, going out once a month, all day drinking on a bank holiday. Even just popping round for a cup of tea and a gossip, I probably have 2 consistent friends who I speak to every single day and they both have a little one too. Friendship circles completely dissolve and I miss that.
There are so many things you miss from before having a baby but there are also those moments you look forward to when you do have a little one. I look forward to spending the weekends as a family with Lee & Oscar but I also look forward to that one night a month or so myself and lee can spend a Friday or Saturday night out child free. We try to balance everything as much as possible.
Thanks for reading, I’m off to make another cuppa.