Nights out once you’ve had a baby are completely different, for one you don’t go out half as much as you did before and two, you are constantly thinking about your baby. Oscar was 2 weeks old the first time I ever left him with my mum for the night, it was my 26th birthday and we decided to go to the pub for a few drinks and we did get a little merry. It was the most terrifying night out I’ve ever experienced, the first time you go out without your baby, but it was also a fantastic night.
Don’t get me wrong as nerving as it was going out, constantly texting my mum to make sure he was okay and the ‘if anything happens please make sure you call me’ phone calls, it really was so nice to just be Hayley again for the night. I went out, bought myself a new dress with my birthday money, dropped Oscar off at mums with all his things, gave him a big kiss and cuddle, went home, got ready, had a few friends round for a drink then went out to a few pubs. It was lovely.
If you go out when your baby is a few days old or a few years old, let’s face it, some people will judge. There is never a right time, it will always be whenever you feel ready. Don’t feel pressurised into going out and don’t feel guilty for going out. It’s all self preference, but going out really isn’t the same. It’s all feels so new again and you forget what to expect. Just because your now mummy or daddy it doesn’t mean that you are forbidden to ever go out on a night out with friends again. I’ve been on nights out with friends and even with work colleagues, its nice to socialise with other adults and spend time with old friends.
It’s nice to be able to be surrounded by adults who can hold a conversation about things other than kids, don’t get me wrong I love sharing experiences about birth and kids but I also love a conversation about things outside of parenthood. As nervous as it is going out without your baby, its also so exciting, We were extremely lucky that we had parents and grandparents around us who love spending time with Oscar and would look after him whenever we needed. Plus who doesn’t love spending time with a tiny, little newborn who just sleeps. In my opinion the newborn stage is the easiest, they just sleep all day and night, its harder as they get older but that’s a read for another time.
Just because you are now parents it doesn’t mean you can’t have YOU time, you need it and most of all, you deserve it. Buy yourself a new outfit, buy some new shoes, do your hair differently, this is your time now! I found it a little easier to go out when Oscar was with grandparents because I bottle fed him, I can imagine it being a lot harder with breast fed babies and having to plan in advance so you know you have enough expressed milk.
Nights out don’t necessarily mean going out to a club till 4am in the morning and forgetting your name, even a night in the house with your partner is you time, it’s having that well deserved, well needed time to yourselves. I’ve been reading a few different things online about parents going out a few weeks after birth and most of the responses are negative, why? Why can’t you go out? Baby is with somebody trustworthy, baby is safe, baby is being fed, baby is being changed, baby is asleep, baby is being cared for by somebody who you trust so why can’t you go out?
I love spending my days with Oscar and watching him grow & develop his personality but I also love that well needed me time! I still love the feeling of getting dressed up and going out.
I must be the world’s worst for going out 2 weeks after Oscar was born and not getting in till 2am, strike me down! Oscar had fun spending time and bonding with his nanny and auntie, I celebrated my birthday with my partner and friends and drank a good few gin and lemonades but who was I hurting? Apart from my head the following morning. Whatever decision you make as a parent you will be judged, do what makes you happy, do what you feel is right.
I’ve had a few nights out since, Oscar is 7 months old! He is currently teething and is wide awake most of the night, up at 6am and I have to go back to full-time work soon. I spend the majority of my day, cleaning, sterilising, feeding, changing, cuddling and it really does get stressful and exhausting. I’m now in need of another night out to relieve some stress and have some Hayley time for the night. I probably go out once a month without Oscar, wether it be going out for a meal with friends, going to a few pubs or spending time with my partner with a takeaway and a film on the sofa.
I’m so sick of people saying your life is ruined after a baby, its not, far from it! I love being a mum, as stressful, exhausting and hard as it is, I love it! We love going out for days out as a family or going for food together of an evening and spending quality time together. We love going on holidays together and travelling. I’m a good mummy to my little boy and I don’t think there is anything wrong with going out with friends and having a good time, even if it is going to a club and getting a bit merry like the old days or just going to a gig to see some of your favourite bands.
It’s about balance and priorities, as long as they are all right and in the right order then why not enjoy yourself! And just a heads up if anybody is going for a few glasses on the weekend, be sure to try violet gin and lemonade, it will not disappoint!
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