What would I do differently next time around? Next time I am blessed to fall pregnant again, next time I’m lucky enough to have another little bundle. There’s so much I would do differently, nothing bad, of course.
Here are a few things I’d do differently:
No, not pick the gender of the next baby, but I wouldn’t find out the gender next time around. I think I’ve had one gender reveal and now I really want the surprise. I’ve had so many friends who haven’t found out the gender of their baby and it makes it so exciting not knowing. With Oscar I remember working a night shift, I came home and got into bed with Lee and just booked an appointment on my phone for a gender scan. There was no thinking about it, I just did it. I loved knowing that he was a boy, we had time to sort out his nursery and buy his blue/boy clothes, but next time I’m going to leave it a surprise.
This kind of links in with gender, I think because we knew Oscar was a boy we just went a little mad on buying clothes. We ended up with bags of clothes he never wore because he grew out of things way too quickly or he had too many to wear. Next time round I think I’ll just buy a few neutral coloured items and if it does turn out to be a boy I have tons of Oscar’s clothes. If it’s a girl I’ll probably end up going down the route of buying way too many, again.
I’d get Lee to take more birthing photos next time round. Not so much the graphic, in pain, blood and urine everywhere ones. But the ones in labour, and just natural, random photos as soon as the baby is here. I look back on Oscar’s birth and we really don’t have that many photos of the actual labour and birth. But the ones we do have I absolutely love! I don’t understand how good people look once they’ve just given birth, lovely nails, nice lashes, make up and hair all perfect, not me. I look like I’ve been inflated and not slept for 5 weeks. My entire face is just swollen!
I do not feel ashamed what so ever about admitting the fact that next time round I want an epidural. BIRTH HURT LIKE HELL! My sister in law had the epidural with my nephew and she said it was amazing, I just need to stop being a wimp and get over the initial thought of that huge, gigantic needle going into the middle of my spine and having to stay extremely still. I know quite a few people this year that have had the epidural and they said it was really good with the pain. With Oscar all I used was gas & air and a few shots of Pethidine which wore off after about an hour or so, it just took the edge off the pain and mad eye feel s=really sleepy and relaxed.
I’m not ashamed in saying I did zero kegels after having Oscar and my pelvic floor is as weak as ever, I’ve been trying to do them recently but it’s not really improving. I guess that’s all part and parcel of having a baby, but next time round I definitely will try them as soon as there baby has exited.
Not taking 194 bags out
I always like to be prepared for situations. I’d pack dozens of clothes just in case Oscar vomited all over him self and then immediately after changing would do the most explosive shit of the year or just in case he gets a little bit dirty doing absolutely nothing all day. I wouldn’t take so many bottles with me, god knows why we went food shopping and I’d take 6 warm bottles just incase he got hungry. I’d leave the 174 nappies and home and 2 packs of baby wipes. Next time round I’ll definitely be travelling lighter now I know what to expect.
Hopefully when we are lucky enough to fall pregnant again, the first night baby comes home with us, I’d like to sleep. First night with Oscar I didn’t sleep at all, we had our angel care mat and monitor set up and I still couldn’t sleep just incase anything happened and I was asleep. I lay in bed and just stared at him all night, I was even messaging the girls at work at like 4am in the morning about wether I should wake him up for a bottle or not. You’ll never stop worrying about your new baby but I’d like to try and worry less next time around. I still pretty much wrap Oscar up in cotton wool at the moment so I really need to try and take my own advice.
The last lot of maternity photos I had, I looked horrendous. I must have missed the glowing stage because I looked like I’d been hit by a bus multiple times and had not slept for over 42 days. My hair and make up added to this effect too. Next time round I’d like some really nice natural looking photos that aren’t as dark as these ones are. I’m not even going to mention the price of these photos……..
Take 12 Months
I’d like to save enough money to be able to take 12 months off work next time round. £600 a month stat maternity pay just didn’t cut it when you have a mortgage and bills to pay. In fact it might even be a little longer than 12 months if I use some of my annual leave at the end of my maternity too. But next time I really do need to save more money to support us a little better and to live a little more comfortable.
Take the Help
If anyone offers you help, TAKE IT! If someone is willing to look after your baby whilst you catch up on a few hours sleep, jump on that offer! Obviously not a complete stranger off the street but if a family member or friend offers you the help, just take it! Next time round if anyone offers me a couple of hours sleep, this time I will take that offer. With Oscar I literally didn’t want to sleep I just wanted to hold him and just watch him all day long which didn’t mix well with getting up 7 times through the night for a feed.
Go to more baby groups
Not being able to drive is really hard, there’s only really a short distance you can venture out to. Before we do have any more children I want to be driving so I we can go anywhere. I would like to do more play groups and more baby sensory groups with the next baby. I took Oscar to a few sessions and he still goes to play group now but with a car it will open up so many more opportunities.
Thank you for reading,